


A pinch of Blackmail (Store bought is fine)

by BatsAreFluffy



Series: Like tears in the rain [27]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: DAy 27: alternate prompt Altered states, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatsAreFluffy/pseuds/BatsAreFluffy
Summary: Alfred snorted. "So, not sex pollen this time."Superman shook his head. "We don't think so. He's been loopy all night, but mostly sober. This is a new low."The caped crusader shifted, and managed to slide the rest of the way out of the passenger seat.
Series: Like tears in the rain [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950151
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	A pinch of Blackmail (Store bought is fine)

Alt: Altered States/Adverse Reactions

The Batmobile ground to a halt in the cave, and promptly gave a horrendous shriek before shutting off. 

Alfred raised an eyebrow, and pressed the automatic scan sequence on his tablet. Several red lights flashed instantly to life, and he sighed. "Did you manage to hit every post box on the way in, sir?" he muttered, glancing over his lenses at the still smoking car. 

The passenger side door opened first, the driver side a moment later. 

No one came out, though.

Alfred slowly reached under his welding apron, and made sure the safety was off on his weapon. Slowly moving around the workstation, he could see nothing but smoke from the driver's side. 

Batman poured out the other side. 

Alfred sighed, and replaced his weapon before striding forward. "Dare I inquire as to how many holes are in you this time, sir?"

Bruce didn't even raise his head. "Nope. She tried, though."

Alfred looked at the dust covering the suit and took several steps back.

"It's not air borne, Al."

"I'd rather not take the chance, sir. Old heart and all that."

Bruce nodded into the grating. "Fair." he still made no move to get up.

"Might you elaborate on how she managed it this time? and whether you need an antidote or Viagra?"

"You're mean," Bruce muttered, face still smushed.

"Yet still the only sober one."

"Swallowed it. Cat made me swallow something green."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Ms. Kyle was in attendance?"

Bruce looked up. "Nah. Cat. It was purple. Small. Shoved it down my mouth."

A flutter of papers announced Superman's presence in the cave. "Is he back - oh come on, Bruce. Up you get."

Bruce moaned. "Don't wanna."

Alfred snorted. "So, not sex pollen this time."

Superman shook his head. "We don't think so. He's been loopy all night, but mostly sober. This is a new low."

The caped crusader shifted, and managed to slide the rest of the way out of the passenger seat. 

Alfred shook his head. "I'll get the medical station prepared. Would you be able to carry him over?"

"Don't need medical. Files are clean."

Clark snorted. "Yeah, sure there. I'll just save everyone some time and carry you, B."

Bruce glared balefully from the floor. "Heard that. Mean."

"Samples, shower, bedrest," Alfred declared. 

"Beds sleep?" 

Clark shook his head. "B, shut up."

Batman tried to cross his arms. "No. Open concept is better, aces high twos wild."

Clark laid him on the cot, and started to take off the gauntlets. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were on laughing gas."

"I'm not a muse. No one knows me well enough to use me as one. Just a pin up, tape ruins the wall."

Alfred brought over the needles and vials. "Just a few vials, sir, then you can get all cleaned up."

"What if the soap eats me?"

Alfred swabbed the inside of one arm, started poking the scarred skin. "Then you may use the back brush to make it retreat."

Bruce nodded, eyes drooping. "Shouldn't eat the shower, it only says between meals. Nasty side records."

"Indeed. B sides?" Alfred murmured, voice going quieter. 

"The car isn't damaged too bent." Bruce was slurring. 

"hmm mm."

"On the nest, need silk string quarters." With a huff, he sagged on the table.

Between the two of them, they got Bruce undressed, cleaned and put to bed, IV fluids helping to flush his system. As Alfred dimmed the lights, Clark asked softly, "Does Bruce record the cave with sound?"

"Oh yes. I'll ensure the files are backed up before he awakens."

"Thanks, Alfred."


End file.
